Across India, there have been cases in which young men and women have faced threats, violence, forced separation and, in the most extreme cases, murder because their relationships or marriages were considered unacceptable by relatives or communities.
These crimes are commonly described as “honour killings,” although the term can be misleading: there is no legitimate honour in murder. The violence is often connected to attempts to control marriage, relationships, caste boundaries, religion, sexuality, or the perceived reputation of a family.
UNFPA research has described so-called honour crimes as a form of gender-based violence and has documented how opposition to marriage choices can involve intimidation, harassment, assault and, in some cases, murder.
What Is an “Honour Killing”?
An honour killing generally refers to the killing of a person because relatives or members of a community believe that the victim has violated social or cultural expectations associated with family honour.
The victim may have chosen a partner without family approval, married outside their caste, entered an interfaith relationship, rejected an arranged marriage, or been accused of behaviour considered unacceptable by relatives.
Both women and men can become victims.
However, research on violence against women has repeatedly highlighted the way concepts of honour and shame can be used to control women's freedom, relationships, sexuality and movement.
The violence is therefore not simply about a relationship.
At its core, it can become a struggle over who has the authority to make decisions about another person's life.
When Love Becomes a Threat to Social Boundaries
Marriage in many societies is not viewed only as a decision between two individuals. It can also involve caste, religion, family status, inheritance, community networks and social expectations.
When a young person chooses a partner independently, that decision can challenge those established structures.
UNFPA research on India has documented cases where opposition to marriage choices has involved extended family members and, in some cases, community bodies. The research particularly discusses opposition to inter-caste and other marriages that challenge established social hierarchies.
In some cases, the pressure begins long before physical violence.
It can involve threats, confinement, emotional pressure, surveillance, forced separation, intimidation or attempts to involve police or relatives against the couple.
What begins as “family pressure” can therefore escalate into a serious threat to personal liberty and safety.
The Role of Caste and Community
Caste can be an important factor in some documented honour-crime cases.
India's caste system has historically influenced marriage, social relationships and community structures. Marriages outside established caste boundaries can therefore be viewed by some families as threatening traditional social arrangements.
UNFPA research has identified parts of northern India, including Punjab, Haryana, Uttar Pradesh and Rajasthan, in discussions of honour-related violence, while also emphasizing that the phenomenon is not restricted to one particular location or community.
The existence of such cases does not mean that everyone in these regions supports honour violence. Millions of Indians enter inter-caste and interfaith relationships without violence.
The important issue is what happens when social pressure turns into coercion or physical harm.
“Izzat” and the Control of Women
One of the most disturbing aspects of honour-based violence is the connection between family reputation and women's behaviour.
In societies where family honour is strongly associated with women's sexuality, clothing, relationships and marriage choices, women can face intense restrictions.
UNFPA has described honour and shame frameworks as mechanisms that can be used to regulate women's sexuality and freedom of movement. In extreme cases, these controls can escalate into direct violence.
This creates a dangerous contradiction.
A family may claim that it is protecting its reputation while simultaneously destroying the freedom and safety of one of its own members.
The idea of “honour” can become a justification for control.
What About Men?
Although women are frequently discussed in connection with honour crimes, men can also become victims.
A man may be targeted because he chooses a partner from another caste or community, marries against his family's wishes, or becomes involved in a relationship considered unacceptable.
In some documented cases, violence has targeted both members of a couple or even relatives connected to them. UNFPA research has specifically noted cases in which the violence extended beyond the woman involved in the relationship.
This demonstrates that honour violence is ultimately about enforcing social conformity.
The central question becomes:
Who is allowed to choose whom they marry?
The Law Versus Social Pressure
Indian law provides important protections for life, liberty and individual choice. The Supreme Court has also addressed the issue of couples facing threats because of their marriage choices.
Yet legal rights can be difficult to exercise when victims are isolated from support networks or face pressure from their own families.
UNFPA research has previously highlighted concerns about cases in which couples seeking to exercise their choice of partner encountered intimidation, harassment or inadequate institutional protection.
This is why preventing honour violence cannot depend solely on criminal punishment after a killing has occurred.
Protection mechanisms, accessible police responses, safe accommodation, legal assistance and community-level prevention are also important.
India has continued developing systems to respond to gender-based violence. A 2026 UNFPA assessment of One Stop Centres examined services including medical assistance, psychosocial counselling, legal aid, police facilitation and temporary shelter for women affected by violence.
The Problem of Underreporting
Another difficulty is determining the true scale of honour-based violence.
Not every case is necessarily recorded under a specific “honour killing” category, and violence within families can be concealed or described using other circumstances.
UNFPA has previously noted the broader problem of underreporting violence against women in India, particularly when the perpetrator is a family member or when violence is treated as a private family matter.
That makes statistics important, but also requires caution.
A reported number does not necessarily represent every incident occurring across the country.
The Bigger Question
Honor killings raise a question far bigger than marriage.
Can family reputation ever justify taking another person's life?
A relationship can be accepted or rejected. Families can disagree. Communities can debate social norms.
But disagreement is not a license for violence.
The moment threats, confinement, assault or murder are used to enforce “izzat,” the issue is no longer about family honour. It becomes a question of human rights, personal liberty and the rule of law.
The challenge is therefore not simply to punish individual killers.
It is also to examine the social pressures that allow violence to be presented as a defence of reputation.
Beyond “Honour”
India is changing rapidly. Young people have greater access to education, technology, travel and communication, and relationships increasingly cross traditional social boundaries.
At the same time, older social expectations can remain powerful.
That tension can produce conflict inside families.
The answer cannot be to deny young people's autonomy, nor can it be to dismiss the cultural concerns of families. The critical boundary is violence and coercion.
Families can disagree.
Parents can express concerns.
Communities can debate traditions.
But nobody should have the power to decide that another person's life is expendable because of “izzat.”
Honor is not preserved by murder.
And a society that protects personal liberty must ensure that choosing a partner does not become a death sentence.
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